‘I used alcohol to cope with my problems, but quitting booze made me happier, healthier and a better mum’

No one around me back then was knowledgeable about alcoholism or addiction and its effects on families. I detailed Mom’s drunken rants until the wee hours of the morning and the neglect and emotional abuse my father, sister and I had experienced my whole life. I told her about the constant worry and anxiety I felt and how hard I’d tried to save my mom. As tears showered my face, my friend cried, too. And I felt like a ton of bricks were lifted from my shoulders.

Ignoring the addiction won’t make it go away

1. This dd is under the same sort of pressure – expected to get back in there and suck it up, and forget the emotional abuse and the years of finding her mum after suicide attempts etc.
2. I have also found that I need boundaries, something I used to be too scared to implement.
3. It’s hard to remember the good times, because my mind chooses to blot out almost everything from when I was a kid so I don’t remember the bad.
4. I worried about the well-being of my sister, though my dad assured me things would be OK and insisted that I would regret not focusing on myself for once.
5. I learned about the effects of growing up as a child of an alcoholic.
6. Remind yourself that your parent’s drinking is not your fault or responsibility.

I know my friend’s dh is finding it extraordinarily hard. Let’s talk about the person you are worried about – who is experiencing the pain of having a loved who is an alcoholic. He or she may not be ready to get educated about being an adult child of an alcoholic or addiction. During those teen years, I grew closer with my father.

Remind yourself that you are not responsible for your parents drinking too much and that you cannot cause it or stop it, only they can. Recognising how a parent’s drinking makes you feel can help you from burying your feelings and pretending that everything’s fine. Youhave a hard time with transitions and changes. A sudden change of plans or anything that feels out of your control can trigger your anxiety and/or anger.Youthrive on routine and predictability.

Addictions

This is the newest torment I battle with. My anger and sadness at what I had to deal with growing up is being overtaken by this thinking now. Probably due to her failing health I am realising that this is as good as my relationship with my DM is going to get. That’s when I discovered that things were not good for my sister. My dad was working at night a lot again. My sister was being neglected by our mother and endangered.

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“I was constantly worrying and constantly on edge really, because once she’d have a drink that was it – that was me on guard, looking after her all night,” Becky says. “I think my grandma was ashamed – not of my mum – just of the stigma of it. No-one knew what to do with my mum Can You Overdose On LSD Acid and there just wasn’t the support there like there is now,” Becky says. It is so sad that you and your db are so emotionally invested in her happiness and mental welfare when your dm really doesn’t care enough about yours to want to change.

It may be a good idea to be prepared for this reaction, as drinking carries with it a lot of negative stigma from our society and is linked with feelings such as shame and guilt. Which is ironic, as the social pressure and expectation to drink alcohol is massive. Talitha says it is so difficult to talk to a parent about their drinking because in a lot of instances, they won’t accept they have an issue themselves. Out of necessity, you took on some of your parents’responsibilities. These may have been practical (like paying the bills) or emotional (like comforting your siblings when Mom and Dad fought).

Download Daybreak, for iOS or Android to change your drinking habits today. Alternatively, join our online community of over 100,000 like-minded individuals. Evie, who works supporting others with their mental health, explained how, rather than “drowning emotions in wine” she was learning to better regulate strong feelings.

There has always been a substantial amount of screaming and shouting in the house. I am an only child with my dad who is very passive and just sits there taking her outbursts. There is a family history of depression and her own sister died due to alcohol and cigarettes which she used as medicine. My mum won’t admit it but she’s very similar to her. My mum drinks daily and in huge quantities.